Maximum effort.

So. Here we are. Mid-holiday, post-electionaclypse, pre-Actual Doomsday.

Immediately after Von Douchelord’s acceptance speech, I knew my days of sitting on the sidelines were over. But, it’s also not as if I know what in the great green fuck I’m doing, so mostly, I was just hopping around, mad and lost. I don’t think I was alone.

First, I got all worked up, and was ready to spring into action. Then, I got sort of caught up in a debate about white privilege, and I lost my courage. What if I did it wrong? What if I made it worse? What if I further offended the very people I’m trying to protect? What did it even mean to protect them? Was I sure I really could, or was I just caught up in the moment?

It’s a learning experience, for a lot of people. But, at the same time, though circumstances may be different now, this doesn’t take away from the fact that this is NOT new for so many people. That discrimination and a system stacked against them is daily life for a lot of people. They have been fighting for quite some time, and this is just another day in the battle. That needs recognized, and respected.

So, up I hopped again. But good god, what do I do?? There’s so many directions to be pulled in. There’s so many things that need fixed. So many people that are hurting. So. Much. Gaaaah.

I can’t fix the world. But I can help it. In order to not be overwhelmed and shut down completely, I need to narrow my focus, and figure out where my strengths are. Easy. Love. Love is always my goal. And what, besides that, have I got to give this world? Sass and profanities.

Since the election, there seems to be a new trend of randomly yelling that one is a Trump supporter in public places. It’s usually accompanied by more offensive language, and rude behavior. Why this is a thing baffles me. One, it’s usually pretty irrelevant, and two… dude, that’s not really something to brag about. It’s like saying, “I flipped the switch on the gas chamber in Auschwitz!” No really. A lot like that. But… reasoning with people who respond to an inquiry about purchasing a shopping bag, taking a seat on a plane, or standing in a quiet line at a grocery store with, “I VOTED FOR TRUMP, BITCH! WHAT YOU GONNA DO?” is… tricky. Yet, our longstanding shy-liberal method of ignoring people ’til they wear themselves out isn’t working either. I mean, that’s the shit that got us here, in part. So what to do?

I don’t have the universal answer. This is just mine.It’s not even my whole plan, just a small part. But ultimately, I will not hide, I will not look down in shame, and I will not be quiet.

I’m going to do nice things. Help people carry groceries, open doors, pay for a stranger’s coffee. Show love. Especially to those who make it clear they don’t share my views. And then, I’m going to look them right in the eye, and shout, “I VOTED FOR HILLARY, MOTHERFUCKER. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. YOU’RE A GODDAMNED WONDERFUL HUMAN. I HOPE YOUR DAY IS MAGFUCKINGNIFICENT.”

And I’m going to mean it.


As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down.

The danger is real. People will say that there’s nothing to be afraid of, that the president doesn’t have that much power, that Trump isn’t really that bad. Those are all lies. Maybe we tell them to ourselves to calm our nerves. Maybe to justify an outcome we played a part in putting into motion. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make them more true.

He has told us time and time again exactly who he is. It would be foolish not to believe him and prepare. He IS that bad. He’s an admitted sexual predator. He’s a racist, misogynistic,  entitled, xenophobic, homophobic zealot. He openly and enthusiastically incites violence towards those who don’t agree with him. He, and the other Republicans, now have the presidency, House and Senate. That does give them quite a bit of power. Maybe they won’t be unopposed, but it will be a lot easier for them to enact their self-serving plans than it was for say… someone to create a healthcare system. Also, if people don’t really believe he’s going to do what he says, why vote for him? Isn’t the the point, that we vote for a candidate that we believe in?

But we already know all of this. Even if we choose to disregard it, because a big ol’ pervy scumbag makes us a lot more comfortable then one of them uppity womenfolk with their big idears, tryin’ to tell men how to live their lives. The proof is still there.

That kind of person, backed by supporters with that kind of thinking is scary. We’ve already seen it happening, it’s not our imagination, shit has already hit the fan.

But. We’re going to make it.

It will take effort, and we’ll definitely have to get further out of our comfort zones (I’m assuming nobody is still in theirs. If so, you might need to reevaluate.). It’ll take a strength that a lot of us haven’t known before. But it’s there.

Know how I know?

Because this is just another douchebag. Just another controlling dickbag telling us how to think, how to act, who our friends can be, what to wear…

It’s just another insecure, narcissistic assclown. And we have no tolerance for that shit. It’s all been tried before. And it’s never worked. We’re still here, and we’re not going anywhere.

That so many people I know have suffered abuse is not cute or fun. But, if you have, and you’re reading this, you made it. That’s what I’m talking about. We have the skills, we can do it again, and every time we get better and stronger. This time, we’re all doing it at once. We’re standing together to show our abusive future leader that we will not tolerate this. We’re checking in on each other, we’re helping each other back up when it gets to be too much, and we’re becoming safe allies to those who deal with the abuse from his supporters in their daily lives.

We combat this with love. Respect. Patience. Listening. As Douchelord VonCheeto* tries his best to tear this country apart, we prepare to put the pieces back together. We remember that we’re ALL in this together, and the greatest motivator on both sides is fear. While we do not stand for the abuse, we recognize that everyone is hurting, and do what we can to connect with those we don’t agree with. To keep them safe too. It’s the only way.

So throw on some Adele, put on your sassiest t-shirt, maybe wing that eyeliner extra wide, and let’s break up with this loser.



*The fact that I called him a name mere moments after saying we combat this with respect is not lost on me. I will do my best to respect the citizens of this country. My country. But he gets none. Also, yesterday I called him Satan’s Bleached Asshole, if that one is more to your liking.

You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.

Sometime before the primaries, I was hanging out with some family. I let my feelings about the over-the-top conservatives be known, and someone sassily responded with “I bet you’re voting for Hillary.” I responded with disgust. “Fuck no. I’m voting for Bernie.”

I did. And that didn’t really pan out. So I dragged my feet over to Hillary’s camp. Because Trump was never a choice. So much that I wouldn’t mess around with a third party candidate, worried that it would be a vote taken away from the only person who actually stands a chance of stopping him. Not just that, though. I didn’t like them. Grudgingly, I admitted that Hillary was in fact qualified. She wasn’t just “not Trump”, she deserved the job.

As I sit here watching the election updates, I am more than a little scared of how close this election has become. But, I’m also proud. I’m proud to be a woman, I’m proud to be able to have my voice be heard, and I’m proud to stand behind this candidate and declare my support.

I really didn’t have great reasons to dislike her. I mean, she is a little more centerist than I like my liberals, but it wasn’t that. She just… bothered me. I’m pretty sure my reasons were pretty close to the ones most people don’t like her, if they’re being honest. They can quote all the paranoid conspiracies they’d like, but she is just easy to dislike. She’s cranky. She’s not overly attractive. Her voice is harsh. She’s hardly ever funny on purpose. And, oh yeah. She’s a she. That last one wasn’t so much a deterrent for me personally, but it’s a huge one for a lot of people. Again, they sometimes hide it behind other doors, but it doesn’t change what it really is.

All of those reasons are bullshit.

She’s what we need. She has spent decades trying to bust through that glass ceiling. It’s not easy. There are so many things that we are just expected to do. It goes beyond staying in the kitchen. Women are expected to stay home, to defer to men, to speak softly, to care more about their appearance than much of anything else, to be weaker, and to always let the man take the lead.

Fuck all that. No… let’s just take a moment here. Reread that small portion of the ridiculous list of things women are expected to do. FUCK. THAT.



When I think about what she’s had to endure to get here, I’m totally in awe. She keeps going. She’s got the thickest skin I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t dumb herself down to make the menfolk more comfortable. She doesn’t speak in soft tones to make you feel soothed. She means fucking business.

That is who we need.


No matter what happens, I’m proud of her. And I know that whatever happens, ultimately, we’ll make it. Us women have been fighting our entire lives. We aren’t stopping now.



For the future.

I am one of Those people. The kind who start long Facebook posts with “I usually stay out of politics, but…” And that’s exactly what I’m doing now. Just to be clear.

I have worn out my welcome to use that phrase in the last few months, but prior to this year, I really couldn’t have given two craps about most political events. I voted. I knew what I liked, what I wouldn’t stand for, but I didn’t have any real passion for it. I didn’t do much research, I didn’t get worked up about things, I just submitted my ballot every so often with a shrug and probably a write-in for Donald Duck somewhere.

Those days are far behind me. I didn’t want to be this person, but then… the debate over the Confederate flag happened. There was a part of me that was shocked at first that this was even a debate at all, but especially here in Oregon. We weren’t really a part of it. (We sent one troop. And we were part of the Union.) Regardless, jacknobs tore down the streets in their giant trucks with the good ‘ol stars and bars waving from the beds, yelling about heritage and history. It unfroze me from my shock. This is who we’re saying we are? That this completely bullshit symbol (THAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ISN’T EVEN PART OF OUR FUCKING “HERITAGE”. We’re across the goddamned country. WE NEVER TRIED TO CEDE FROM THE FUCKING UNION.) was more important than people? Not just a couple, but an entire race? That we were willing to completely disregard their feelings, at the very least, for a fucking flag? What?

I was not willing to be represented this way. I wasn’t going to let my silence lump me in with this crowd. I was going to make it clear that this is not who I am. So I did. And nobody listened. Or they told me I didn’t know what I was talking about. (Bitch please. I’m a female in the automotive industry. Next time try bringing a new dish to the table.) But that didn’t really matter to me. I kept saying it. Still do. And I’m not done there.

My son and I were chit-chatting on the way home from football practice tonight. We got on the subject of the presidential election, as we often do. Today was the first time I’ve really shared my opinion with him, though. I wanted him to form his own, based on his own research, beliefs, and feelings. He is very anti-Trump. This isn’t at all shocking to me, because I know him, and how he processes things. He is baffled, however, that there are people who aren’t.

When we discuss these things, I try to present both sides to him. I attempt to be as fair as possible, because that’s how I want him to be. But above all, I  have to instill good values in my son. That we don’t generalize, follow stereotypes, use racist language, demean people, laugh at their pain, or try to use it to our advantage. That’s all Trump is. Entirely. And let me make it clear right now that the above values are just that, they have nothing at all to do with “political correctness”. We don’t use stereotypes because we treat people like people, not because it’s frowned upon. We don’t make racist comments because we aknowledge that it is hurtful and thoughtless, not because it’s unpopular or taboo. I’m not afraid of hurting people. I am mindful of it.

Which means I no longer compare Trump’s behavior to that of a middle-schooler’s. Because mine is so much more mature than that, and I would never tear him down that way.

I’d say to go ahead and try to justify being a Trump supporter to me, but frankly, I don’t want to fucking hear it. But maybe you should think about how you would justify it to a child. Tell them when it’s ok to call a Venezuelan woman “Miss Housekeeping”. List out for them all the ways rich people can benefit from working people (which you more than likely are. Odds, not generalization.) being laid off, your jobs being outsourced, your homes being forclosed on. Explain that that’s alright, because personal gain is the ultimate goal, no matter the cost to others. Look your daughter/neice/granddaughter/baby cousin in the eye and tell her why her looks are the total sum of all she will ever be, and if she doesn’t take care of them, she deserves to be shamed. Teach them that when you don’t get your way, you blame others, you call names, and you change the subject. Perhaps (and hopefully) you’ve spent time teaching them the exact opposite,  but if you really back up what Trump stands for, you’re going to have to rethink some things, right?

And no. I didn’t try to win any points by playing the kid card. They’ve been in this game the whole time.

From atop my lofty soapbox…

This is about religion. Let’s just get that shit out there now. Oh, also, there’s more swearing than normal. It’s been that kind of day.

Today on the rant docket: California lawyer Matt McLaughlin proposes an initiative making homosexuality punishable by death. OK, so he’s just proposing this initiative, but if he gets the number of signatures required, it has to be allowed on the ballot. I’m seriously doubting it’ll get that far, but weirder things have happened.

Basically, the “Sodomite Suppression Act” says that should someone be found touching someone of the same gender in a sexual way, they get shot in the head. Or banned from California for life. Why? Because he is looking out for the greater good, and doesn’t want all of us going down in flames, what with God hating the gays and all. Oh, and if the authorities don’t deal with offenders within a year from their sentencing, the general public can take it into their own hands and administer justice themselves.

(There’s a link in here where you can read the act itself. You should. It’s hilarious, in the bad way. )

Clearly this guy is a fucking assclown. There really isn’t one part of this initiative that makes logical sense. I’d like to think he’s just lol’ing it up somewhere, having successfully trolled everyone. But history has proven that people this idiotic do indeed exist, and can get law degrees, so let’s err on the side of caution. It’s just too much, though! Where do I start with the picking apart?? Since the material is overwhelmingly insane, random order it is.

Item 4: Sodomy and homosexuality are two different things. This initiative would put to death ANYONE who merely touches someone of their same gender with sexual intent. Meaning that drunken boob grab I shared with my bestie at the club 9 years ago (quick wave to Mom!) would have me staring down the business end of a shotgun. So it seems the name is just for dramatic effect, as it is just one of the many, many things you could be shot for if it passed. Neato!

Item 7: If the actual justice department doesn’t do their job quickly enough for Mr. All-The-Gays-Are-Out-To-Buttrape-Me, any old fuckhead on the street can shoot an offender. Yeah, there’s no way that could go wrong. Because people who would be okay with carrying out this sentencing would always use fair and balanced judgment. They wouldn’t just start shooting same-sex couples on the street, no. Because they’re good people. That’s why they’re shooting fellow humans in the first place.

Item 3: McLaughlin is concerned about the welfare of the world, which is why he’s doing this. Because we God-fearing folk shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of them there demon queers, so “it is better that the offenders should die”. Yes. That’s why option 2 is to ban them… from California. That is where all the good Christians are. Unfortunately for him, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t smite on a state-by-state basis.

Item 5: Sodomy is also called “buggery”? Really? When?

Item 6: Nobody can hold office, work in the public, or even GO in public if they are guilty of or support people who are guilty of these transgressions. Well no shit, they’ll all be dead. Unless they’re one of the 4 people that would ever be fined and sent to prison (let’s face it, everyone is getting shot.). But wait… would they go to a Californian prison? Because then they’d still BE IN THE GREAT STATE OF CALIFORNIA AND GOD WOULD STILL SEE THEM AND YOU’D ALL BURN FOR THEIR SINS! Also, you can’t just make the entire city of San Francisco obsolete. The world needs it.

Item 2: Murder is illegal, fuckhead. Also, God doesn’t like it either (but that’s not how we make laws, because we have separation of church and state, remember?). When he’s making his speech to Noah about how he’s not going to wipe out humankind anymore just because he’s a tad sensitive, he said that every human life should be accounted for, and whosoever sheds the blood of man is in huuuuuge fucking trouble.  (Gen. 9:6, MFKSV)

Item 1: OPEN A BIBLE ONE TIME, FOR THE ACTUAL LOVE OF GOD. God doesn’t mass-smite anymore. There was this whole ceremony, with a rainbow, commemorating it. It’s right there in the first book. You don’t have to read that far! Even in the case of Sodom and Gomorrah, the most-referenced city by assholes trying to make an insane point ever, he promised he’d spare the cities if he even found 10 worthy people. If McLaughlin doesn’t think all of California has 10 decent humans, who does he think is going to sign his initiative?

More than anything though, more than the moronic details of this all, is the thing that I want to yell at people like Matt McLaughlin constantly: Stop hiding behind God. Stop sullying the already pretty sullied name of religion. Be honest. Homosexuality scares you, and you don’t know how to deal. Why that is, whether it be denial of your true feelings or a past incident or what the fuck ever, isn’t for me to criticize you for. It also doesn’t matter.You don’t get to use your personal issues to try to condemn an entire group of people. People have tried in the past, and it has never gone well. You’re not saving ANYONE. You’re only doing harm. That is all. There is NO good that comes from this. But you know what there already is in the world? A whole heap of bad. Maybe instead of adding your shit to the top of the pile, you get a shovel and start figuring out how to make it better. You can even put God back in at that point, if you so please.

I am a religious person. I don’t flaunt it, push it on people, or even talk about it that much. Because this is what I get lumped with when I do. Also, because I don’t believe that alienating someone by trying to force my beliefs on them is what God intends. From my personal understanding, he intends us to love one another and take care of each other. Nowhere does he enlist his followers to end the lives of people they themselves deem offensive. You know why that is? Because all the gays, all the lesbians, all the transgenders, all the questioners, all the sodomistic propagators, all the allies, all the hetros who don’t like to shoot other people in the head, all the everyfuckingonenomatterwhat… we’re God’s children, too. Ask any parent if they’d let someone shoot their child for any reason, let alone for being who they are. Take the reaction you get, multiply it by the biggest number you can fathom, and imagine that much holy fire being rained down on your dumb ass for even thinking this bullshit up. Just imagine it though, because God would never actually do that. Rainbow, motherfucker.